Kurloz Makara x FEMReader Purple Dreams ch1

My earliest memory. The starting point of where I am now. This memory, was it a blessing? Or that of a sin?
 I couldn't tell.

That memory I cherish so closely but so cautiously, defined what I know now, and defines that of which I do not know.
 Rather than a sin or blessing, a chance, for better or for worse, it was a chance.

I've heard the stories, the rumors about the mute girl, never once showing expression since the day she was found. Rumors on which start as a fact but being so used and stretched, that it is a lie beyond one could comprehend.
 She never asked for this, she never knew why this was her fate, and, I still don't.

I'm not mute, nor do I never show emotion, they just believe what they hear and believe what they see, not once have they looked pasted that. Not once have they listened in so deeply, so determinedly, that in the midst of the silent abyss, there's a small voice, that of a girl, wanting someone to be there and to just listen. Not once have they stared so intently into the eyes of the rumor, reaching the very soul, seeing the little sparkle of happiness.


The visions of my past, had not haunted me, but guided me for the better. Seeing a sea of blue blood, upon vast land, would have been terrifying to those that aren't myself. I know I should of been afraid but I was overcome with the crave of curiosity, and if I hadn't been stopped by the very own king of Purple blood, I would have fallen, fallen deep into no return.

What had started out as a young human child, awaiting orders on whether she would die or not, that of starvation or by the hands of the subjugglator himself had took a quick turn for the better.
 I never understood why, maybe it was the emotionless expression I gave when staring into death itself, or the fact that a little human girl was standing upon thousands of dead bodies that intrigued him.

And so as I go passed every memory I had kept, locked and stored, I see the days of myself growing up, personally serving the purple bloods, especially the two brothers, Gamzee, the youngest and Kurloz, the oldest.
 The littler things I could do at the time was mainly looking after their needs, sometimes even the king of purple bloods, that was very rarely at the time.

Kurloz and I had a special bond, one I could not describe with a thousand words, it was something I could only feel and understand by that feeling.

No one understood why I hadn't talked or why I was always expressionless, I didn't exactly understand myself, maybe I had been waiting for something, or even someone.
 So instead of talking, I began to use sign language, having Kurloz to translate for me when I needed to speak to others.


As years passed, I slowly began to understand why I hadn't talked, it was because I didn't feel a need to, and I felt happy enough inside that I didn't need to show it outside.
 And as those years had passed, the Makara family had fully accepted me as one of their own, they treated me as family, something I hadn't felt or believed I felt.

I still had my serving duties though, but now the subjugglator had been added to the list of trolls I needed to take care of. I didn't need to worry, he had shown me the kindness of that he shows to his sons.

I don't think we could have all grown closer until that specific day, it pains me to think about it, the oldest son, Kurloz had harmed himself so intensely, it had scared his matesprite away, Meulin. Kurloz, if he could, would of screamed her to come back, but couldn't anymore, that event only brought us closer as the two mute could share and understand in a language no one else could.



I opened my eyes, the sky was darker and the crisp evening air had came to play, it was getting late. I got up from the chair on the balcony and walked back into my room I was given, filled with things I collected that took interest in my eyes. I walked quickly to the washroom, if I was late, I would get scolded again. A lot of time had passed between my thoughts of when I was younger and now, I had fully matured into a young woman, the age of about 16. Passing some mirrors, I looked into it, I guess if I had horns and grey skin, I could pass off as a purple blooded troll first impression wise as my hair was as deep as black could go, my eyes as bright as purple blood colour could be.
 Ignoring the fact, I walked on.

Once I had reached the washroom, they had already started, or so I heard, as I walked to the entrance, I saw a sight that broke me, the king of subjugglators and the two boys, were in the smallest bath, the older troll, being almost too big to fit, the water only just covering his waist line while the two boys, bickering, well, bickering and speed signing, being squashed up against the wall.

Once they noticed me, they stopped and just stared, "[Name].. good to see you.." the subjugglator had acknowledged my presence very awkwardly. My face grown dark, and I fell to the ground, shaking, "[Name]!" the two speaking trolls shouted, Kurloz could only sign worriedly. Very slowly, the voice arose from my chest, unidentifiable at the start, only when it grew louder had we all realise who it was and what it was. My face moved up towards the trolls, I was laughing with tears trickling down my cheeks, the trolls shocked at first, soon rejoiced at the sound of my laughter, smiling and chuckling, the mime troll, only smiling very warming as much as the stitches could let him.

I got up from the ground and walked over, "You're so silly, you three.." I smiled, my voice was a bit weak but grew stronger on every word, it was a new experience, my need of not showing expression and talking had fully and finally broke. "Wow [name], your voice is fucking miracles." the little troll spoke up, still squashed from the parent troll being so large. "I'm sorry I'm late, I'll go prepare the large bath for you." as I was about to turn and leave, the signing troll's hand grabbed mine, something the purple blood family didn't care about, or believed in was personal space. He began to sign, "You have a very beautiful voice.. [name].. and the large bath is broken so we have to use this one." I nodded, understanding and sighed quietly, "I'll go see if I can fix it later." and with that, I grabbed the troll body wash and rubbed it onto a cloth, washing the giant troll first, the middle troll second and the small troll last.

Washing the trolls, I was able to understand the anatomy of how they work, no nipples, no belly button, their troll genitals hidden inside, in a type of pouch as I had been explained. Quite different from human anatomy, at least to me. Because of this, I had no problem washing the trolls, of course being careful of scars from the wriggler legs and their horns. I let them wash their own pelvis areas as it's something I'm not comfortable doing.

I began to wash their large, think manes, if it weren't for me, their hair would be filled with a bunch of knots. It was also funny seeing their hair completely wet as it's quite long. When I finally finished, I put away the items in the other room that was filled with towels and other stuff, before I left, I grabbed three towels, slung them over my shoulder, grabbed a brush and traveled back to the subjugglators. "[Name]?" the oldest troll spoke up as I began to dry his hair, brushing at it as well, "Mhrm?" the other trolls listened in to the conversation, "Why hadn't you spoke to us before?" he seemed generally displeased at it, I simply stated my reason back, "I felt no need to, I guess, you do not need words to share conversation."
"What about motherfuckin' expression?" he continued, I smiled slightly, "I was showing expression, true expression is from the eyes, anyone can make a smile and not mean it." he sighed, it sounded more like a lion's yawn, "That is true." I finished and began to start on the oldest son, he always seemed content when I was doing this, the subjugglator got out of the tub, leaving a lot of room left, trailing a pool of water around himself. I handed him the largest towel, he took it and walked away with the towel covering his lower half. Gamzee began playing in the water, "Hey motherfuckin' sis, since you can talk, can you sing?" I pondered the thought, I wouldn't know, I shrugged, "I don't know, I'll find out later." he gave his usual goofy, stoner smile, out of the two, Kurloz was the less violent child, Gamzee, without his slime, would go on violent outbursts and tantrums. I had witnessed one long, long ago.

Kurloz patted my arm, leaving it wet from the water, once I finished Kurloz, I stepped away, hanging the towel over the edge, Kurloz liked to stay in the water a lot longer than Gamzee or their father. I headed over to the young troll who was playing in the water, splashing about, getting his attention and pulling him away from his game.
 When I had finally finished, Gamzee fled from the washroom, towel slipping away from his hips.

I sighed and looked at Kurloz who was staring at me, I stared back and smiled, he smiled, stitches pulling at his lips. "When're you going to finish up, Kurloz?" I had asked, my voice was getting better and sounded normal-like. He pulled his hand from under the water and began to sign, "Later, for now, stay here, I enjoy your company." I nodded, grabbing a stool, bringing it up behind him and sat down. He turned around to face me, leaning his chin on his bare arms, he looked in my eyes, like usual, "Kurloz, why do you always stare into my eyes?" he moved one of his arms, his hand visible, "Because I like them." he leaned in close and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, the contact a bit awkward but bearable. I just hoped he wouldn't find out the sound of my beating heart.

Maybe I can admit that I had fallen for the mime troll, but had always been afraid of rejection, that and somehow, deep down, I feel as if he still has feelings for his ex-matesprite.

I exhaled slowly, my eyes gazing upwards from the ground, without realising it, Kurloz had found himself inches away from touching my lips, and far from space between our foreheads. The troll was very good at being quiet, but then again, I guess he learnt from me as that was a problem I had, being too quiet to notice. I pulled away from his touch, and alerted his awareness of my state of needing sleep. He smiled, "Tired?" I nodded and rubbed my eyes, he stood up and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around his stomach then leg by leg, got out of the tub.